Colourful updates.

So recently, life has been AWESOME~!
I cannot find ways to exaggerate that more but seriously, not joking here, life has really been good.

I've never been happier, both at work and off-work. Yes, I'm now quite work-oriented because it takes my mind off things which I don't want my mind to think about. I guess a busy and challenging job is quite interesting. I love it. Cannot deny.


However, there's a twist to the plot somehow. Yes, drama's changing ever so frequently. Nobody likes a boring movie.
I got confirmed, appraisal form all written and prepared to be sent off to confirm me, & then I told them I don't wanna work as a full-time anymore.

This is quite a conflicting decision, to be honest. I love my job, I like the people there and honestly, I really want to be responsible and do it to the best. But I'm not like any other people out there in the world.
I have goals, I have ambitions and I have dreams which I really want fulfilled.

& when I go back to the place which I really enjoy the most, I somewhat realise, my job isn't my passion, it's just a responsibility which I have to fulfill.
Most satisfaction comes from doing things which requires no salary at all, I will be paid soon enough.

There are people who live to work and there are people who work to live. I don't live to work, I work to live. Which is why there is no reason to why I should let my life be oriented around my job. I should make my job orientate around ME. I AM THE SUN.

Decision made & I'm sticking to it, end of story.



So yes, back to my happy happy life, it's not 100% happy of course.
Still struggling to be my used-to-be happy self, whereby my patience level is over the roof awesomely high. Recently, I blurted out things which are kept in my heart but really are killing me. I wish I didn't say those words, but man, like as if wishing helps.

I'm just really glad that 1) I can somewhat be able to live a somewhat pure life? 2) I can somewhat control what I think so I don't get drawn into a vicious cycle of hate and regret.
& I seriously thank God for that.

I don't care what you guys wanna judge me or say things about me or whatever. /sensitive
I will not have a negative side to my self-esteem, or moral value or whatever that chinese word means!

Maybe this is why I have to go through a challenge like this, because if not, I'll never be able to see from this point of view. Like when I got critisized at work, I got upset, I wanna cry, I threw my phone against the coffee machine in anger. But I stuck to it, I try hard, I do everything I can to improve things. And see what happens, I'm slowly getting the hang out of it.

My job may sound easy because I work in a fast-food pasta place but hurhurhur, looks can be deceiving. D:



Anyways, happy 23rd birthday to myself! & I'm glad you got a bit more mature now. Stop acting childish and do God's will, because till now, you haven't achieve that yet!
Boy, cannot wait till the day God says: K, it's time to tell you what I want for you now.