It has been a while.

Yes indeed. As I read my blog, I was quite shocked to see that it was 3 months ago since I last posted. -insert shocked face-

It has indeed been quite awhile, I missed you my dear blog. ^^


Let's do some recap shall we? To remember the happy times which I've been through. & the sad ones perhaps.


The first thing that sprang to mind was my trip to the zoo! It was zee most awesomest thing EVER. -waves hands around like siao cha bor- I saw Jia Jia's butt! & you can all call me Jiajia now because it means beauty. :D
Law of attraction you know. (coughs)

Life has been quite peaceful recently, full of work & church & emo moments.
I recall the short period of time when my beloved shimu talked to me along the beach. That led to many days of emo moments which also led to days and nights of endless thinking and recalling. I guess I would say I'm a horrible person? Where have my innocence gone to? Lost forever.

But that also led to me remembering that one time, when God spoke to me during 大伟会幕. When I re-listen to that, I realised God knew what I'm going through. Okay, can I just rant here?
Only God knew how much pain I felt, how much betrayal I felt, how much guilt I had to endure even though I'm not the culprit in the first place. I ask myself, why do I have to go through this? I was just helping someone I care about. Yes, in the wrong ways. But my intentions were so pure!
One might say, chey your pain where got pain? My mother passed away leh, my grandmother in hospital or my whole family in serious illness now because of some weird disease then how can that compare with yours?!

When I really felt like saying how I felt and hoping someone would comfort me or at least talked to me about it, I couldn't even say the whole story out. Because to be honest, no matter how I'm going to explain it, I'm going to sound like the person at fault. Okaycan. I'm at fault okay. I give up.

I give up trying to live my life without you guys around to put me down. I will live with you guys putting me down.
I give up trying to think that every Christians, or at least the ones I know, are awesome. I will live with certain doubts so I'll never have to deal with people lying to me again.
I give up trying to right myself. Because I will always be wrong.

-Okay stop ranting-

I actually feel semi-comforted nao. Wows.

Okay nevermind, I HAVE A BRIGHT FUTURE AHEAD YAY!

What I cannot accomplised before due to your effect on me, will be accomplished because I am now immune to it all. AND I WILL BE.

Just watch out.