Anyway, although yes there's a lot of awesome things to be written about the awesome Genting trip, but just let me have a chance to write something down so that I will constantly be able to remind myself just in case I ever have a chance to forget and my memory gets misty & blurry.
So today morning, I met with my beloved shi-mu because I have such a dilemma in me.
To simply put in very mushy terms, I think I miss ys in my life. I mean, it has been 3 months since I last talked or see him ohmytian. Because of said mushy emotions, I did something very stupid: I went to talk to him on Pingchat last night.
-cue dramatic Jaws theme music-
Why stupid? Because now he has a leeway of evidence to prove that 1) He didn't start a convo with me. 2) I started a convo with him therefore it's my fault. 3) Now 4-yi will hate me more. Yay.
On a side-note, I'm starting to dislike the word '133' a lot now. I'm so sorry God, I will repent seriously. I'm trying really hard okay, I'm sucking it up really well now. -pats shoulder-
So shi-mu says this kinda thing is see fruits to identify tree. All talk no fruits is also crap, like no picture no talk yo. NPNT!! Hahaha! All talk no actions also same.
He can scam everyone with words, scam himself with words, but he can't scam God nor His awesome people.
Lesson of the day: Don't bother talking to him nor trying to know what's happening in his life because it's of no benefits to me anyway. Plus I'm also a toy which served its purpose and is now totally bored of and abandoned. Yay!
Okay, I apologize for that lame self-pity sentence but seriously, it's the truth but just written in a very negative way.
I guess all I can do now is pray hard, work hard, after all God's grace is really very ample for me already. I'm sorry I always take grace for granted. God knows, how much I take them for granted hahaha. I can look at the music team schedule last time & imagine, what if I lose it all? Will I mind?
Then I just go ahead and make the mistake anyway. -_-
I treasure my chance when I had it, but take it for granted when I had it for awhile.
I regret of course, but what can I do now?
I'm grateful for my chance back in the 2012 recording team, of course. I feel so eternally grateful and honoured because it feels like they were just waiting for me to get back. -Tears flow down blushing face-
Drama much, but yes, this year is a year of drama for me.
I don't need to watch shows for now, because I'm living in one. :)
Dear God, by Your grace, just take me back home so I will be by Your side & not be tortured by satan in this awful world. Amen.
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